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I'm doing much better in the head-meats since my last entry. That was an odd day and I thought I was losing myself. That's a party I don't wish to attend. I was afraid, 12 years later, I was going to have a shocker as if every emotion came back to me that I was unable to tap into or express when JJ died. In general, I have been having death anxiety lately; the fact of my own mortality. I worry that if I die before my loved ones, I will cause horrible, unnecessary pain. I find myself wanting to be the one left behind so that I can bear it all, rather than others. No likey :(
I've been slipping in the stress-eating department. After the car BS with it dying and needing to find another, my drug was the solace I find in stuffing my face with pizza and brownies. I was doing so well but I tell myself tomorrow is another day to avoid beating myself up for it.
I'm blowing through my reading challenge on Goodreads. I am 92/100 for the year and WILL reach if not exceed this goal. I am so happy that I was able to stick to it. The amount I was reading prior to this year was sad as fuck for a book lover.
I am currently reading Member of the Family: My Story of Charles Manson, Life Inside His Cult, and the Darkness That Ended the Sixties. This little bugger in the family slipped through the cracks and now we get to read her story. She was only 14 at the time and helped put him away in the end.
I am also finishing up The Book of Shadows. I met this author in '02 while working at the bookstore; he was casually shopping and he signed it for me at the register. It took me THIS long to finally read it; 15 years! I am a few chapters from the end. I really love the author's writing style, as well as the subject matter. I was pleased to see that he made it into a series.
I've been slipping in the stress-eating department. After the car BS with it dying and needing to find another, my drug was the solace I find in stuffing my face with pizza and brownies. I was doing so well but I tell myself tomorrow is another day to avoid beating myself up for it.
I'm blowing through my reading challenge on Goodreads. I am 92/100 for the year and WILL reach if not exceed this goal. I am so happy that I was able to stick to it. The amount I was reading prior to this year was sad as fuck for a book lover.
I am currently reading Member of the Family: My Story of Charles Manson, Life Inside His Cult, and the Darkness That Ended the Sixties. This little bugger in the family slipped through the cracks and now we get to read her story. She was only 14 at the time and helped put him away in the end.I am also finishing up The Book of Shadows. I met this author in '02 while working at the bookstore; he was casually shopping and he signed it for me at the register. It took me THIS long to finally read it; 15 years! I am a few chapters from the end. I really love the author's writing style, as well as the subject matter. I was pleased to see that he made it into a series.
