Sit on my Interface

Do you believe that the dead could materialize an object out of nowhere? I know one shouldn't believe everything they read, but I'm reading My Son and the Afterlife and the author, who is also an MD, claims her dead son materialized a dime in her car and that... get this... it disappeared when she was holding it between her fingers. Well, let's hear it!



I still have a suture back near where my wisdom tooth was, but I'm finally getting it out tomorrow. It's practically growing fur! I hate it! I still have a little hole back there too but can tell it's closing up. According to the surgeon everything is normal. Well an open hole is not normal to me. I'm still chewing on my right side only because I'm too scared to get food in there. Gross!


This isn't my x-ray but it's extremely similar to the positioning of my impacted tooth

Just finished a book called The Raw Shark Texts. So good! So different from anything I have read, really. Clicky to read the description. Is anyone on goodreads? Let's be friends! I'm at 27 books for the year so far!

I have a pilates/strength training class starting today with a friend. Looking forward to it because it's time I get active. Not massaging on a regular basis means I'm sedentary AF.

I'm doing much better in the head-meats since my last entry. That was an odd day and I thought I was losing myself. That's a party I don't wish to attend. I was afraid, 12 years later, I was going to have a shocker as if every emotion came back to me that I was unable to tap into or express when JJ died. In general, I have been having death anxiety lately; the fact of my own mortality. I worry that if I die before my loved ones, I will cause horrible, unnecessary pain. I find myself wanting to be the one left behind so that I can bear it all, rather than others. No likey :(

I've been slipping in the stress-eating department. After the car BS with it dying and needing to find another, my drug was the solace I find in stuffing my face with pizza and brownies. I was doing so well but I tell myself tomorrow is another day to avoid beating myself up for it.

I'm blowing through my reading challenge on Goodreads. I am 92/100 for the year and WILL reach if not exceed this goal. I am so happy that I was able to stick to it. The amount I was reading prior to this year was sad as fuck for a book lover.

I am currently reading Member of the Family: My Story of Charles Manson, Life Inside His Cult, and the Darkness That Ended the Sixties. This little bugger in the family slipped through the cracks and now we get to read her story. She was only 14 at the time and helped put him away in the end.

I am also finishing up The Book of Shadows. I met this author in '02 while working at the bookstore; he was casually shopping and he signed it for me at the register. It took me THIS long to finally read it; 15 years! I am a few chapters from the end. I really love the author's writing style, as well as the subject matter. I was pleased to see that he made it into a series.

So finally feeling normal after Hurricane Irma. Even though my area was not hit dead on, there was a lot of damage around town, mostly downed trees and fences. Power was also out for nearly a week. I feel bad for the Caribbean because they got hit HARD by Irma and just now Maria. Look at the before and after (This is ONLY after Irma):


St. John, more
I am rewatching Twin Peaks and picking up on small nuggets that I can appreciate having seen the ending. Being in this certain TP group on facebook really gets many theories and ideas in everyones' heads that helps me feel better at times. There really is no explanation and I know it was Lynch's intention to not have to explain anything as we are to interpret it how we individually choose to. It's in our nature to have reasoning behind everything but some things we cannot and that is life and that is what TP was likened to. Life, and how it doesn't always add up. I've been doodling a Twin Peaks tattoo idea because I've wanted a TP tattoo for years and I'm getting the itch again. I have a $100 tattoo place gift certificate that's just burning a hole in my wallet. I hope it didn't expire because I won it years ago.


My mom had to go to the ER due to an allergic reaction to a generic medication. She does fine with it if it's name-brand but what the hell filler did they put inside to set her off? It looks like there are fleshy tea-bags under her eyes now. I know they will take over a week to go down. I had a reaction once and got one bag under my eye. It seemed to only affect half of my face, but it took a while for that to look normal again. I will spare her her dignity and refrain from posting a pic.

I'm getting the itch to start drawing portraits. We used this method in a portfolio class I had in high school in which you overlay your image of choice with a grid and then transfer it to a larger piece of paper with a larger grid to scale. Basically you draw one square at a time instead of being overwhelmed by the whole picture. I'm thinking some Twin Peaks related characters or maybe horror movie related things. Mine from high school was pretty good, it was black and white paint. I am not really at ease with paint but I may give it a shot once the basic sketch is done. But, it's not like photoshop where I can delete mistakes, so there's that. I also want to get my TP bracelets made again, I have two new 3d charms that were made from polymer clay that will be awesome lookin'.

I'm reading No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh. It was a gift from a friend because I'd expressed I've dealt with death anxiety. The book can apply to life so it's worth a read even if you don't worry about death/dying. This is a quote that really hit home for me:

“When conditions are sufficient, we manifest. When conditions are no longer sufficient, we no longer manifest. It does not mean that we do not exist. Like radio waves without a radio, we do not manifest.”
Thich Nhat Hanh

I've always like the spacesuit analogy which is basically just like this one with other terms. We are not our bodies, we are within our bodies, like a car or a space-suit. What are your thoughts on this?

I am also reading a book called The Book Collector by Alice Thompson which I actually heard of from a dream-friend beautyizdead via Goodreads. I'm digging it so far! It's a short one so hope to be done today or tomorrow, time permitting. This is getting TL;DR so consider this entry at a close.

Friday we get a truck and move all of our stuff that won't fit in my hatchback to storage. Monday we are checking into a studio hotel with the animals for a few nights before we can move into our new place! Super excited because there is a small backyard area for the dogs. I think they should get to roam free to an extent when they are outside but they are always tethered to a leash. I may even look into a doggy door. I am also grateful for the small fenced courtyard we will have up front and most importantly, NO HOA! Here are the she-mutts:

Just started reading this and in searching for the image, I saw that it's been made into a movie with my on-screen crush Chloë Moretz :D! If you know of books along these lines, please recommend them!

A musical artist from very close to where I live had a shitty concert ending when a suicide bomber hit the venue and killed over 20 people; many of them children, and many still missing. No news of any affiliation with terrorist organizations at this time, or motive, but the fact remains that it happened and pretty much renders any "reasoning" behind it null and void.

I rewatched part 1 of the new Twin Peaks and it is definitely worth repeating this episodes after going through once. It gives perspective and makes this a little less bonkers (if that is possible of a Lynch film). I plan on watching the rest of the episodes as time permits.

I have been reading books less than 100 pages to help keep up with my challenge on Goodreads. Do you think that is cheating? I mean they are books. Those among them are:



That about covers it; two of these are still in process. Not sure what to move onto next. What are you reading?

It's crazy to be out and about when I'm usually unconscious and probably snoring. The blackness of the sky at 4:30am and the empty streets is kind of peaceful. The energy that everyone gives off during the busy day is so overwhelming in comparison. It's almost like existing before the rest of the world is born.

I started reading A Wrinkle in Time a few nights ago. I had the book on my shelf as a kid for years and never read it through. I must say, some visuals and vibes I'm getting from the story are genuinely creeping me out. There's a scene in which children from a neighborhood in some other place/time are all playing in unison. Balls are hitting the pavement when jumping ropes do, all feet hitting the ground at once, everything in tandem. Then mothers all simultaneously open their look-a-like houses and call for the kids and they all run up in unison. Also when anything describes a scenario where people are just propped and not moving like mannequins, I think of a few scenes from Insidious:




This doesn't really seem scary at first, but what the fuck is going on? It's funny what gets to me sometimes.

I don't know if I'm the only one with weird sandwich layering hangups, but this is how it's gotta be. If not, I will straight up take the sandwich apart and rearrange it before I can enjoy it.



If the sandwich is cold (top to bottom):
Condiments (No Mayo!)
Cold stuff (like lettuce, pickles, etc...)
Meat
Cheese


If the sandwich is hot (top to bottom):
Cold Stuff
Condiments
Cheese
Meat

So help me god if someone puts lettuce, pickles, and other cold stuff on the bottom of a sandwich, hot or cold. Either way, flip a sandwich around and see what you want to hit your tongue first. It really changes the whole sandwich-eating experience.

Every time I attempt to start a regular journal again, I fail miserably. I came over here, despite not having used LJ in years, because of their recent censorship horse-shit. It's 2017 for fuck's sake.